Monday, May 19, 2008

Quien es mas macho?

Blackbird found an article from Esquire magazine on 75 skills every man should master.

I thought it would be fun to steal the idea from Blackbird and see how many of these skills The Hubby has. I thought it would be fun for me to answer them, and then have him answer them, to see how well I did. But he was sick in bed all day yesterday and then got up early to go on a business trip (he was actually supposed to leave yesterday), so he's not here to answer them. Oh well, it was a good idea.

My new idea for a twist on this is for me to answer them for The Hubby and then answer them for me! Does Esquire think I'm a good man? Let's see!
(My answers for Hubby are in blue, for me are in magenta.)

A man should be able to:

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence.
The Hubby is a man of few words, that's for sure. Sometimes he has good advice. If he doesn't, he'll just keep quiet.
Me? One sentence? Never!

2. Tell if someone is lying.
The Hubby is an excellent card player. He has very good instincts for this.
I'm alright.

3. Take a photo.
The Hubby never takes photos, and therefore we have almost no pictures of me with our babies. I am always the one taking the photos. Ironically, however, he is always being asked by strangers to take their picture. This happens around here, and around the world! It's kind of amazing. He must look trustworthy and competent. (Well, he is.)
I can take a decent photo with my point-and-shoot.

4. Score a baseball game.
Absolutely! He has been an expert at all things Sport since he was The Boy's age.
My Daddy taught me how to score a baseball game when I was a kid. I really enjoy it.

5. Name a book that matters.
One of our earliest conversations was about Ralph Ellison's The Invisible Man. Unfortunately, neither of us read many books anymore, although when we were college kids we dreamed that one day we would have a house with room for a library.

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.
I don't know about that, but he knows a lot about a number of groups, and can carry on a great conversation about music.
Name a song by Huey Lewis & the News. I know 'em all.

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
I am sure that he could, but why bother? He's good at the grill.
I don't grill. As for meat, I prefer to cook fish.

8. Not monopolize the conversation.
The Hubby has the opposite problem, actually.
For me, it really depends. Sometimes I can't stop myself from talking, and other times I am a wallflower.

10. Buy a suit.

11. Swim three different strokes.
Yes, although he is pretty out-of-practice.
I suck at swimming. But I could fake my way through three strokes.

12. Show respect without being a suck-up.
Absolutely. He radiates respect and loyalty.
I am not a suck-up. And I respect people. So I guess I'll say yes.

13. Throw a punch.
I wonder. I am sure he never has, and I can't imagine he ever would, but he probably knows in theory how it should be done.
Absolutely not at all.

14. Chop down a tree.
Not without injuring himself.

15. Calculate square footage.
Yes, fo' sho'.
Me, too.

16. Tie a bow tie.
We would need to learn this together by watching a video on YouTube or something.

17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
Not in large batches, but we'd both like to practice this.

18. Speak a foreign language.
Not really, no.
I can sort of communicate.

19. Approach a woman out of his league.
No. In fact, I finally had to approach him back in the day (and I am out of his league, right?).
I'm kind of intimidated by beautiful women myself.
I loved this one in the original article!

20. Sew a button.
I know he could do this if he just gave it a try. But he always makes me do it.

21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
I don't know what they would be arguing about, but he has never used a cheap shot.
Ditto for me.

Oh, no. This one is not in my blog comfort zone.

23. Be loyal.
Hubby takes this one. He is the epitome of loyal.
This is a really good one in the article, too!

24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope.
Oh, yes. And he knows how to order it, too.
I like to let him surprise me.

25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
He is not a handyman. All home projects involve a lot of cussing.
I hold my own pretty well, but I don't completely understand the terminology here.

26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
I think so. He would be very rusty at it, though.
I have not done this since I was about eleven years old. I think sighing would probably be involved.

27. Play gin with an old guy.
Oh, he would LOVE to! This is right up his alley.
I would get my ass handed to me on a platter.

29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
I think he would know what this is talking about. As an Engineering major, he took more physics than I did.
I took a year of physics in college, but ... wha??

30. Feign interest.
I'd have to say he is not great at this one.
I used to be better at this, before I was so tired all the time.

31. Make a bed.
He certainly can. And sometimes, he does!
Ummm, yeah.

32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick.
We like drinking wine. We are not snobby about it. But we don't usually say much besides "interesting" or "smooth."
This one is really good in the article too.

33. Hit a jump shot in pool.
I really do think he could do this. There was a snooker table in his dad's basement.
Not on purpose.

34. Dress a wound.
We would both manage alright, I think.

35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
I bet he could do these, but I think there would be some cussing involved.
I have only done the second one.

36. Make three different bets at a craps table.
Let's just say this right now. All the gambling/cards ones? Let me just understate it and say he's got these covered.
I don't gamble. I will play cards (my family enjoyed playing games growing up), but I am not competitive or strategic. I'm in it for the conversation and the bonding.

37. Shuffle a deck of cards.
See #36.
(Oh... I can do this, no problem.)

38. Tell a joke.
We are both hopeless.

39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
See #36.

40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear.
We are good with kids. But our almost-eight-year-old does not seem to hear us.

41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
We are very nice to our servers.

42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.
The Hubby is a man of few words.
I am kind of lame around dogs.

43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help.
This would be a bad scene.
Why not ask for help?

44. Ask for help.
Too late.
Oh, I see.

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist.
I can't imagine him ever needing to do this.
I need to go read the article again 'cuz I should learn how to do this.

46. Tell a woman's dress size.
I think he has no idea. But he might surprise me.
I try not to think about it.

47. Recite one poem from memory.
Not unless it involves sports stats.
My brain is full of holes.

48. Remove a stain.
Yes, although he usually consults with me for tips.

49. Say no.
I forget what the article was referring to.

50. Fry an egg sunny-side up.
We both sometimes have yolk troubles.

51. Build a campfire.
I bet he could make this happen with some trial and error. He's probably done it before.
Me, no way.

52. Step into a job no one wants to do.
Yes, he quietly takes care of things for people.
Hello? Stay at home mom. This is all I do all day.

53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
Absolutely not.
Ditto. Unless we're talking about a verbal tirade, after the fact.

54. Break up a fight.
I don't think he's ever done this, although it's far more likely than actually being involved in a fight.
Hello? Stay at home mom. This is all I do all day.

55. Point to the north at any time.
Yes, I don't know how he does it!
I just learned this from the article! Woot!

56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
We used to do this for each other in college.

57. Explain what a light-year is.

58. Avoid boredom.
He does not like being bored.
Avoid what now?

59. Write a thank-you note.
Yes, he can, and he even does if I ask him to.
Oh you betcha.

60. Be brand loyal to at least one product.
Diet Pepsi.

61. Cook bacon.
We don't cook bacon.

62. Hold a baby.
Yes, absolutely! In fact, he was nineteen and we had been together for two weeks. I saw him holding his one-year-old cousin. And I was a puddle on the floor.
Um, ya think?

63. Deliver a eulogy.
He could do a great job. Thankfully, he hasn't had to do this yet.
I would be a mess.

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.
This one is weird. You have to read the article. I think it's about giving up your long-held beliefs if confronted with new information? Um, I think? I can't even deal with this one right now.

65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.
Not as well as he used to.
I watch sports.

68. Find his way out of the woods if lost.
Um, yeah, no idea.
Not a chance.

69. Tie a knot.
Any kind of knot? We both could make one happen.

70. Shake hands.
He has a condition that makes his palms very sweaty. Four years ago, he had a procedure that fixed the problem. He enjoys shaking hands now, and he really appreciates being able to!
I have a good handshake.

71. Iron a shirt.
He thinks he can't, but he could do it.

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.
Only if the thought counts.

73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.
I don't know what he's talking about with the back of the fingers, wha?

74. Know some birds.
Maybe owl vs. pelican.
A few.

75. Negotiate a better price.
Neither of us are any good at this.

You can read the article here - it helps because it makes the list seem less random!

It goes without saying that this is one person's idea of necessary man skills. Mine would be different! The Hubby has never been a guy who needs to seem "manly," and that in itself demonstrates his sexy self-confidence. Nothin' more manly to me than a guy who sees men and women as just people: we all are here to love one another.

I read this post at Dad Gone Mad today, and he talks about how much he loves taking care of his kids, and it sure hit me where it counts - right in the tear ducts! Go read about a real man, KINDA LIKE MINE.


Anonymous said...

I am having so much fun reading everyone's take on that Esquire list. You're the first person to address which of the skills you have.

blackbird said...

I LOVE the way you did this - he sounds like a great guy.

Sarah O. said...

What a great, thoughtful list!

JCK said...

This was fun. I always wanted a library room in my house. My grandparents had one and it was fabulous. Although haunted. A slight problem.