My Hero

In the same breath that I announce that The Boy deserves the award for "Biggest Whiner" (he's at that age where EVERY SENTENCE comes out as a whine), I also announce that he deserves the award for "Mom's Hero of the Week."

Isn't that an interesting pairing.

He goes to preschool on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. Tuesday and Thursday mornings are our time alone together. Isn't that a nice schedule?

Well, this week, our time alone together sure was a drag.

On Tuesday, I had to run a very small errand at IKEA, to pick up an item so that the people coming to stay in our new basement guest room for Thanksgiving will have a place to hang their clothes. A $13 errand. And... you know... whatever else I found in the Marketplace...

IKEA is about 30 minutes away (and.... hey! I just looked it up on Google maps and it says 18.7 miles, 27 minutes! I was actually right about a driving-related estimate!), so we left our house at 9:30 am to get there right when it opened at 10:00.

By 11:20, I was not quite all the way to IKEA, and I had not been able to get a hold of anyone to pick up Middle Girl from Kindergarten for me. I had to turn around and head back. The Boy, who at this point had been sitting in the car for almost two hours, was thirsty, so we pulled into the first thing I saw (Target) and visited the drinking fountain and potty (that was smart of me). Then we drove back home to Middle Girl's school.

There was an overturned big rig blocking all but one lane of the freeway. We had been stuck in the traffic for over 90 minutes. Whee! Great use of time and gas: altogether a 2.5 hour trip in which I didn't even get all the way to my destination, let alone obtain the $13 thing I needed. No, I have not tried again.

Then, on Thursday, our other day of Time Alone Together, I took The Boy to a boring meeting at church where he entertained himself with the Leapster and some snacks. Also crawling around under the conference table. (Looking at people's shoes? Their toenail polish colors? Who knows.) We had to leave the meeting before it ended to take Turbo The Kitten to his appointment with (Remember this?) the Veterinary Dermatologist.

The Veterinary Dermatologist was running very late. His first appointment of the day had been over 30 minutes late and he was backed up. This was terrible news to me, since I had already put The Boy through a boring meeting! Now he had to wait in the waiting room for what turned out to be 45 minutes! I had paper and pen in my purse, so he did practice writing his letters, and he visited the potty a few times, but whoo! that much waiting in one morning is A LOT to expect of an almost-four-year-old boy.

Dear The Boy,
Thank you for putting up with boring, extra-frustrating-and-long errands TWO MORNINGS IN ONE WEEK. I would guess that you appreciate your school days much more after that! The good news is that Grandma and Noni are coming to visit, so next week's days off school will be SO MUCH FUN!
You make me feel like a lucky Mommy for having you.
Love,
Mommy.


Even though the wait was long and difficult (see: almost-four-year-old boy who already sat through an hour-long meeting), I think it was a very good thing I took that crazy kitten to the Veterinary Dermatologist.

Turbo's swollen paw didn't really respond to the two antibiotics the other vet tried, and an expensive fungal culture showed no growth, so I was dubious that it was an infection.

But I was wrong.

The Veterinary Dermatologist took a little sample and looked at it under a microscope, discovering that it is "teeming with multiple types of bacteria." Yes, that is gross, you are right. But I was nonetheless glad to have the start of an answer about this swollen paw that we have been dealing with since October 6! He did a culture of the sample so we can find out exactly what bacteria we are dealing with.

The best part of the story happens now:
He gave Turbo some kind of new, special antibiotic. He took pictures of the paw and told me to come back in 14 days for the next dose and more pictures. He did not charge me for the antibiotic and will not charge me for the next dose or the re-check fee, because if this antibiotic works, the pharmaceutical company will pay him for the photos! TRA LA TRA LA TRA LA!

In other news, he did say that this kitten is quite a handful. On top of that, the other vet had written the following in Turbo's file:
"Feisty."

Ha! I'm right! He does have above-average energy!

Perhaps we should have been more careful when choosing a name... was it a self-fulfilling prophecy?

A future in interior decorating

As I rounded the corner to head upstairs, I came across something...





The Boy has quite an eye, don't you think?

Time Alone with The Boy

We actually have time alone together every Tuesday and Thursday morning, but we had some unexpected time together when Middle Girl went over to a friend's house for lunch.

The Boy got to choose what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he decided on scrambled eggs, and asked if he could help make them.

I don't usually have the kids help prepare the food, just because I don't think I can keep tabs on them well enough; but with only one, it's really fun to have them help make the meal!

The Boy cracked the eggs and beat them with the whisk. While I tended to them on the stove, he did a very careful job cutting up cucumbers!

We sat down to enjoy our lunch together, and as you might guess, this time he didn't resist eating anything on his plate! He was excited about those cucumbers!

A simple thing can be really nice.

The First Day of School

Middle Girl was up bright and early, eager to get dressed in her crisp, new hand-me-down uniform.

She seemed excited, but not nervous.

The Hubby went into work late today so he could accompany us on the big first day.

Seeing my two girls, both smartly dressed in their school uniforms, took my breath away just as much as the sudden realization during breakfast that it would be just The Boy and I walking back home, for the first time. Whoa.

In the Kindergarten classroom, she did get a bit nervous. No one but her parents would have noticed, because she hides it well. All of the parents were very nicely asked to head out, and Kindergarten began!

At pick-up time, she was ready to come home. She said she liked Kindergarten and was excited to go back tomorrow, but she seemed a little tired and reserved. When we got home, there was a cookie bouquet waiting for her, sent by my mother-in-law. The Hubby called to talk to Middle Girl and hear about her day. "It was good."

Day One went well.



As for The Boy, well, there were some tears at preschool drop-off. I stayed for a few minutes to watch him (he couldn't see me), and seeing him kind of wander around the playground alone, trying to figure out what to play with, made me a bit sad - so I left. I knew it was fine (he really doesn't mind playing by himself, unlike Middle Girl, and the other kids looked pretty much the same), but I still found it hard to watch.

When I picked him up, he was actively participating in Story Time, and the teacher told me he was shy for most of the morning but had started to warm up near the end and even played with another child. He tells us he likes preschool, but he's glad he gets a day off tomorrow.


And what did I do with my morning? You know, I was kind of drained so I went home and just sort of sat there. I'll "get things done" in the upcoming days, but I didn't expect that from myself on this first day!

Tomorrow is the big day

One more day until Kindergarten.

Since Middle Girl's drama and tears are still going strong, The Hubby and I are glad that it's almost here.

I still can't stop saying that I "never would have guessed" that she would have trouble with this. It seems out of character for her.

You think you know your children's personalities, and they go and change the game on you!

____

In related news, tomorrow is also The Boy's first day of preschool. I am feeling more confident about that than I was a few days ago, because Friday was his Visiting Day. He didn't want to go, and held my leg and buried his face in me when we went there, but by the time we left, he was telling me how much he likes his teachers and his classroom. We gave Daddy a call so The Boy could tell him all about it.

I'm sure he'll be nervous again at drop-off, but Visiting Day was definitely a good thing!

____

Today we're doing a whole lot of nothing, which I think is good for Middle Girl. We're just having Unscheduled Family Time around the house: swimming, playing pretend with the siblings, coloring, reading books. Nice and low-key.

____

Wish us good luck for tomorrow morning!

The toes!

I am doing a bunch of work organizing my digital photos these days, and I came across this picture, taken three years ago today:



This picture makes both my heart and my uterus tighten up to a full-blown clench, and then convene to engage in a serious discussion.

Seriously, I can't breathe right now. Could you just die?

"Jack" and the Beanstalk

At Parent Ed in mid-to-late-April, the special activity was planting bean seeds in a plastic bag. The Boy planted his seeds in the soil against the side of the baggie, so that he could see them sprout. It was fun to watch their roots sprout, followed shortly by their stems. After a while, they looked like this:


Mommy figured they were probably too big for the baggie, and it was time to plant them outside. Since they were pole beans, Mommy had to first get them something to climb on. Soon, The Boy and Mommy got to work:

(photos by Middle Girl)

Here is how they looked that first morning (May 7), right after the transplant from the baggie:


Then, they withered. I think I transplanted them too late; they really did not do well for a couple of weeks. I thought I would be buying a new climbing plant for that pot.

But then, things started looking better! On May 27, I could see that they were going to make it, so I fastened them to the trellis with red twist-ties:


They really responded to the trellis! They sent vines up the poles, as you can see in this photo from June 4:


I loved watching them climb up the poles. They seemed to really respond to the feel of the poles, growing around and around the poles as if enveloping them in an ever-tighter hug. Just like children, they flourish when their sense of touch is triggered. You can see it in this photo:



These next two photos were taken on June 10. They have grown taller than the trellis. Now what are they going to do?



And this photo was taken on June 12. The vines growing over the top of the trellis are even longer, and are growing around each other as if the other vines are the poles! Now they're hugging each other!


But where will they go from here?

Hey, "Jack's" Beans! It's time to stop growing up and start growing beans, whadda ya say?

A real Goodbye today

Today was the last day of The Boy's Parent Ed class. Not only that, it was MY last Parent Ed class, after nearly eight years.

Our local community college has been offering free Parent Ed classes for something like 40 years. The class is three hours long, and consists of free play with special art activities available, then Song/Story time, then Snack time, and then Discussion time. While the teacher and the parents are discussing parenting topics ("How to Say No," "Pottytraining," "Strategies for Holiday Celebrations," "Taking Time for Yourself," etc.), the children are having more free play, supervised by that day's group of Helper Parents.

The classes were a sanity-saver for me during the first-baby/toddler days, when I felt like I needed someplace to go and DESPERATELY needed to talk to other adults! As a stay-at-home mom with no family around, I cannot overstate how much I needed those discussions (particularly the advice from moms with older children), as well as the bonding with other moms that happened informally during class!

When I brought my second- and third- children to Parent Ed, I enjoyed being the "mom with older children" who could share my experiences with the newer moms. It was so nice to just enjoy the time spent with my child and contribute to discussion, no longer being the one saying "I think I'm doing everything wrong! Help me!"

The Boy's teacher this year has been "Teacher Judy." I have been in her class with all three of my children, at some age level or another. I gave her a note today, in which I wrote about all that I have gained by taking her classes.

The Boy picked out a gift for her: A Parrot puppet and a Hermit Crab puppet.



"Teacher Judy" has the most unique Song Time. From her funny versions of "Open and Shut Them" and "If You're Happy and You Know It" (the kids' favorite is "If You're Scared and You Know It") to her many puppets and the songs she has made up about them, it seems to have been The Boy's favorite part of class.

Normally a painfully shy child, even with old friends, he loves those puppet songs so much that he actually sings them! Out loud! and goes up to the front to give them a pat! With other kids around!

So you can see what it meant to him, and to me, to give "Teacher Judy" a couple of new puppets. She could definitely see it -- she told us that when she makes up songs for these new puppets, she will mail them to us. And she told me that she noticed that he came out of his shell for the puppets and their songs; and she really loved seeing that side of him. She is a special person.

Some of the puppets The Boy loved this year are:

I have patches on my eyes, I have stripes on my tail
Some say that I'm a thief, but I've never been in jail
I sleep all day and I wake with the moon
Who Am I? .... I'm a raccoon!


Three Nice Mice
Three Nice Mice
See how they run
See how they run
They're always polite when they nibble their cheese
They never forget to say "Thank you" and "Please"
They cover their mouths whenever they sneeze
Three Nice Mice


Oh I'm a Lovely Green Iguana, sitting in the sun
A Lovely Green Iguana, I smile at everyone
I have a crest running down my back
I eat lots of bugs, and then I take a nap
Oh I'm a Lovely Green Iguana, sitting in the sun
A Lovely Green Iguana, and now my song is done


I have a pet gorilla, Mathilda is her name
Mathilda likes to sing all day, and this is what Mathilda sang:
"Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah,
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah,
Ooh ooh ah ah ah."


"Mmm aa" went the little green frog one day
"Mmm aa" went the little green frog,
"Mmm aa" went the little green frog one day
"Mmm aa mmm aa mmm aa aa aa."
All the other froggies went, "fro dee oh dee oh dee oh,
fro dee oh dee oh dee oh,"
All the other froggies went, "fro dee oh dee oh dee oh,"
Except for the little green frog, who went,
"mmm aa mmm aa mmm aa aa aa."


First he runs and then he walks, in the water, on the rocks.
Eight little legs go clickety-clack, hurry forward, scurry back
Little crabs live by the sea, I watch them and they watch me


Fuzzy little caterpillar, with eyes so big and wide,
Something says, "it's time! It's time! Find a place to hide!"
Stretching and growing and stretching and changing,
Something says, "it's time! It's time! To come outside and fly!
You're a beautiful butterfly!"


Alligator, Crocodile, we are quite alike
If you get too close to us, we will surely bite
Alligator, Crocodile, I'm fast and I am strong
My teeth are sharp, my hide is tough, my tail is very long
Alligator, Crocodile, would you like a ride?
Don't you dare say "yes" to me, or you'll soon be inside

Two stories today

When I picked Middle Girl up from preschool today, she had something exciting to tell me: "I got to let one of the butterflies go!"

Her class has studied the life cycles of butterflies and frogs, and has kept caterpillars and tadpoles to observe. The butterflies all hatched from the cocoons over the weekend, and today they were flying around their little net home, ready to go outside. (Three of the tadpoles have turned completely into frogs; the rest are somewhere in-between.)

The teachers drew names to determine who would get to release the butterflies, and Middle Girl was lucky enough to be one of the children chosen! While her classmates looked on, she let a butterfly climb onto her finger, then carefully moved her finger out of the net habitat to the open air, and off it flew!

I asked her which she liked better: having a butterfly on her finger or holding a snail in her hand (she LOVES that), and she said "the butterfly!" Cool! I wish I could have seen it and taken some photos!



My second story is about The Boy. We were walking through a parking lot and he saw a man standing around smoking. He stared at him for a minute, and then asked, "Mommy, what is that thing he keeps putting in his mouth?"

Yes, he is over three years old and has never seen anyone smoking before! Isn't that fantastic?!

Bermuda Triangle in my Brain

My friend Eileen had her third baby a few months ago. I am having fun watching her deal with three.

When she drops the oldest off at preschool, she takes the infant seat out of the minivan and snaps it into the Snap 'N Go stroller, as the two older boys jump out of the car and head toward the classroom. At the classroom door, the baby lying in the stroller waits outside because there isn't really enough room to roll it inside. (I sneak over and give the baby some goofy grinny faces so he'll smile at me!) Boy Number Two wants to stay and play in Big Brother's classroom so Eileen has to coax him out of there. And they're off! Back to the car to rush to Boy Number Two's music class or Parent Ed class or Target.

At Parent Ed class, I get to see more of the Third Baby show. Eileen switches the baby between the stroller and the sling. Walking around with an 18-pound baby strapped to her body, she helps Boy Number Two with the swings, the slide, the toy cars, the Birdseed Table, the tricycles, the craft of the day... At Song Time, she tries to surreptitiously nurse the baby while Boy Number Two sits next to her. On the days when BN2 wants the lap spot, she shifts the baby over to one arm and holds them both close. During Snack Time, she makes sure the baby has nursed enough or burps him or bounces him to sleep, while friends like me make sure BN2 gets the snack refills he needs.

I watch and enjoy helping out, and I think to myself, "did I do this too?"

Because I am surprised to say that I DON'T REMEMBER IT.

It's like there is a huge chunk of time missing from my brain.

How did I drop off Big Girl with a barely-2-year-old and a baby? Did I use my Snap N Go? Did I just carry him? When did he nurse? OH! I remember, I nursed him in the minivan in the preschool parking lot, right after drop-off, since there was no time in the rush of the morning getting the other two out the door.

How did I carry him during Middle Girl's Parent Ed class? Did I carry him in the sling or the Bjorn? Did Middle Girl understand when I needed to tend to the baby? Did she sit next to me during Song Time or fight to fit into my lap?

Was I actually there?

I guess I was, because I found this picture:


That looks like something I would remember, doesn't it?



Ugh, it saddens me.... because they are little for so short a time and my brain has lost some of it! I want to be able to close my eyes and transport myself back to those days... relive it a little bit... But when I try, there's nothing there!

I can do that for the first baby, and the second baby, but not for number three. And I love The Boy with every beat of my heart. He makes me melt with happiness.

What up, brain?! C'mon, help a girl out!

I was calmer with this baby than with the other two, that much I know. I rolled with the punches and gave myself permission to take more naps. I was more relaxed about this, knowing everything would work out. And he was a happy, calm baby, so that helped. The days passed by smoothly. And then I forgot.

no, no! you're too young!

Texting, already?





Don't worry, we don't have any underage texters around here. Or of-age ones, really. But there was something about the way he was lounging, legs at a jaunty angle, absorbed in playing with Daddy's cell phone that really gave The Hubby and I a hearty chuckle.


Chuckle...

Chuck...

Sigh. I miss that show. How long must I wait?

pay attention to me!

This morning, as I was getting all of the family and houseguests fed and out the door to their several different locations, my son came up to me saying:

"Mommy, I did something upstairs! I took all of my pajamas, and socks, and underwear, and shirts, and shorts, and..."

and I'm sorry, but that is where my brain tuned this little guy out as I was rushing through the kitchen.

After ten minutes or so, I heard a noise upstairs.

It was the washing machine on the spin cycle.

Apparently, he was telling me that he loaded all of his dirty clothes into our front-loading washer and pushed the buttons to start the machine!

"mama, the airplanes are kissing!"

That's my son. He's all boy, but such a sweet and cuddly boy.

a new skill

The Boy would like to show you the latest thing Middle Girl taught him:






Since he is three, he likes that he knows another way to show it:









This means "bowling spare." I have no idea how or why he came up with that. But he is adamant about it.

RAAARRRRRRR!

We are starting to leave The Boy at his Sunday Preschool class now, as opposed to Daddy and Big Girl staying there with him. This week, the topic was "animals," and the craft was gluing decorations onto animal masks.

The Boy made a "lion mask," complete with sequin adornment. He wore it everywhere for two solid days!


He would put it on his face and say "RAARRRRR." And he would put it on the top of his head and say, "Now I'm just The Boy!"

And you wonder why I'm such a sucker for him.


Uncle D had a nice, but short, visit. My favorite was going to the high school basketball game with D, Middle Girl, and The Boy. (The Hubby and Big Girl were in the mountains this weekend.)

D, thanks for coming and staying here with our pushy cat and enthusiastic children when you could be staying in a hotel! Aren't you sad you missed my car accident and The Boy in the mask? (Well, one out of two.)

The Truth about Three

This is a follow-up to my "Ode to Three." If you haven't read it, please go here (or scroll down a few days) and read it first.

Then come back to hear more about it!

_______________


I need to share with you the background of my post "Ode to Three." Picture me at my computer, composing loving thoughts about my children. While writing about the wonder of the first baby, Big Girl was standing next to me throwing a HUGE fit because she couldn't find her silver locket. Tears flying, much yelling, not pretty.

While writing about my two daughters, so devoted to one another, Big Girl was bawling that Middle Girl had "given" her MG's gold locket "to keep forever" and now WANTS IT BACK!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

While waxing poetic about how wonderful it is to have three children, The Boy was putting stickers all over our wooden TV cabinet. Daddy came home and said, "TB, WHAT have you been up to?" Between that and throwing every ball we own over the fence and into the pool FIVE TIMES last weekend, we're sure glad to have our three!


So, now that we've both enjoyed a good laugh about that (and SIL S. gave me a pat on the back for still being able to focus on the positive in my writing during that scene), it's time for the TRUTH about three.


CHAOS.


It takes them less than ten minutes to make a complete mess out of any room in the house. And often, this is happening in two or three rooms simultaneously.

One urges another to remove all of the couch cushions and turn the couch into a trampoline.

One decides to tackle the others and knock them to the ground (over and over) whether they like it or not.

Another decides to wail and moan and play a victim instead of just getting away from the tackling sibling.

You know how kids suddenly do ANYTHING to get your attention when you're on the phone? Now imagine three kids doing it, while also competing with each other over who can be the loudest and most demanding.

You think you've got it made, two kids have agreed on the same thing for lunch! or are in agreeable moods for an errand or the walk to school! But wait, before you thank your lucky stars, there's another kid in the mix, and they are NOT agreeing to the plan.

I'm so used to the chaos at this point that it has become background noise. I don't really hear them anymore! I wish I had a dime for every time I've been talking to someone and they say "Um, I think your son is trying to get your attention," and I suddenly realize he's been wailing at me and pulling on my leg and I hadn't even noticed! So, yeah, the chaos has pushed me over the edge a bit.


When other mothers find out I have three kids, they almost always say, "You have THREE? I don't know HOW you do it." and I just give them the answer my moms have both given me about coping with kids: you just do it.

The thing that seems to give people pause most often is the idea that they would be outnumbered by the kids. With two, each parent can handle one kid, and everyone is covered. Each child is holding a parent's hand, and that lessens the chances of somebody running off. But it's okay - we learn that we all need to take responsibility for our family. There are only two parents, but the kids learn that if we all help watch out for each other and share ownership of our family, we'll all be okay. And I think that's a really great thing to learn. I admit, it's not like they act this way all the time, but I think it's an underlying lesson that slowly is taught just by how the family works. We can't rely on someone else to take care of everything, we have to participate in order for our world to work.

And similarly, we can't control everything and have it be a certain, precise way, we've got to relax a bit and be flexible and creative. Because there are other people around who demand (and deserve) a say as well.

So bring on the chaos. I don't mind it. (Well, sometimes I need a break from it, but that's okay too. We learn that we need a break and we find ourselves a getaway sometimes.)

Yeah, maybe three ain't always so pretty. In fact, I'd say it's messy, but also ... beautiful.

Budding photographers

This morning, there were mysteriously FORTY new pictures on my camera. forty. 40. Four-Tee. Seems a certain duo got all photojournalistic on me:

Here you go, for your enjoyment!

We are true believers in the value of an in-depth study of our subject.

Then we have the following series. Truly a collaboration.

Yes, you read me right. FORTY of these.

What's happening right now

Middle Girl and The Boy are playing "High School Musical." MG is Sharpay and told TB to be Ryan (Sharpay's brother). The Boy packed up his Cars into his Cars lunchbox, told me "I am Ryan," and headed upstairs to play HSM.

A typical conversation

The Boy: Why is it nap time?

Mommy: Because that's what time it is.

The Boy: Why is that what time it is?

Mommy: Because the clock says so. Time marches on. Time to take a nap.

The Boy: But, but, .... Why do we have a clock?

Shopping with our Christmas money

We went to the bookstore and the girls each got some books and then decided to pool the rest of their money to buy the complete set of American Girl DVDs.

We are reading the books one chapter a night at bedtime. Middle Girl likes having some chapter books of her own. We watched the Samantha movie, but it had a "scary" scene in it (Big Girl had read the book so she knew it was coming, and psyched out both herself and her sister) so we'll have to pick the right time to watch the others (not too close to bedtime or when anyone is feeling tired).

The Boy didn't take long to decide on what he wanted. He got a book about basketball at the bookstore. At the toy store, he got a Lightning McQueen race track that Cousin L had gotten (and The Boy had coveted) and a set of Mr. Potato Head and his friends Mr. Corn and Ms. Carrot.

The race track has seen a lot of action. A LOT. If you put more than one car on, they sometimes crash! What could be better?

At first, The Boy was not comfortable with the idea of mixing up their parts (putting Mr. Potato Head's hat on Mr. Corn, for example). In fact, he SCREAMED when the girls wanted to show him what it would look like. Eventually, though, he has gotten used to it and even laughs about putting the arms in the hat hole. Now, that's progress.