Showing posts with label about barbra. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about barbra. Show all posts

Monday, June 8, 2009

A full day ... full of awesome!

On Saturday I was on the road at about 8:40 am, headed north on my little solo adventure! I was going to enjoy some scenery, meet a blogger, and earn a little money! A diverse plan!

An hour or so into my drive, I saw this:


Cinderella's carriage, including the white horse! Right there on the freeway! Click on it to get a better look at it - really quite something.
No doubt it was headed to someone's wedding. Not the same wedding I would be working at, though!

I had some companionship in the car with me.

Meet my little friend, Mr. Garmin. (The Hubby's newest gadget.) He talked to me during the drive, telling me where to turn, which freeways to take, where to get gas... we didn't always agree, but that makes for more interesting conversation, right?

Here, Mr. Garmin is showing me that I should take Highway 101 to Highway 101. Very helpful, thank you, Mr. Garmin.


Now looky here! Mr. Garmin and I are in the middle of nowhere!
(I apologize for the blurriness. I was driving, yo. On the open road.)

Mr. Garmin tells me that we are right next to the ocean.

Look! He's right!

Thank goodness for Mr. Garmin; how else would I know to look out the window and find a headland so I can snap a pretty photo? :-D
(yes, while driving. The Hubby was not so happy about that...)

Also out the window of my moving vehicle...
I saw a lot of charred hillsides, after the recent fires in this area:


Then I saw the hillsides adjacent to the burn areas: this is how everything looked before:



PRETTY LAKE! PRETTY LAKE!

(I actually pulled off the road for that one.)

When I got to the town where the wedding would be held, a friend was there to meet me! I got to spend a couple of hours with Heidi from smalltown mom, and we had a lovely time! She showed me around, while we talked and talked. We peeked in shops, and found some fun socks (my recent interest in novelty socks is a sure sign that I am turning into my mother). Heidi even treated me to a delicious lunch!


We had to have a bloggers' meet-up shoe photo! (I forgot about the shoe photo! I chose my shoes that day based on comfort, not cuteness... but check out Heidi's sassy leopards!)

It was so wonderful meeting Heidi... I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know her better! (Heidi, we should have taken a picture of our sock purchases! Well, I'll put pictures of mine here; you can put a picture of yours on your blog, too!)

Hopefully Heidi and I will get together again sometime!

Well, I had to get to work. It was the reason for this trip, after all...

Wedding time!


The wedding was in one of the historic California Missions.


They were having a Catholic Mass for their wedding, and I was cantoring. This means I was singing LOTS of music. I was very happy with how I sounded, and believe me, this is rare. I am so picky and hard on myself, but I was feeling good about this one! I got really nice responses, too, and the Father of the Bride even tipped me an extra fifty bucks! (Note to self: bumping into the Father of the Bride after the wedding can be a good idea!) Clearly, this was one of those days: an absolute *GEM* of a day!

When I got home, the kids were SO EXCITED about their new socks! (I had no doubt they would be.)

I got two for myself, and two for The Boy, since his socks seem to be disappearing.

Everyone HAD to put them on IMMEDIATELY!

Penguins for Big Girl, horses for Middle Girl, trains and clownfish for The Boy, and Chuck Taylors and sushi (!!) for me!

I just love these kitschy-cute sushi socks!

I'll write more about the Chuck Taylor socks later ... I've got an idea for a future post!


Here are a bunch more photos from the day, for your viewing pleasure!









Monday, May 19, 2008

Quien es mas macho?

Blackbird found an article from Esquire magazine on 75 skills every man should master.

I thought it would be fun to steal the idea from Blackbird and see how many of these skills The Hubby has. I thought it would be fun for me to answer them, and then have him answer them, to see how well I did. But he was sick in bed all day yesterday and then got up early to go on a business trip (he was actually supposed to leave yesterday), so he's not here to answer them. Oh well, it was a good idea.

My new idea for a twist on this is for me to answer them for The Hubby and then answer them for me! Does Esquire think I'm a good man? Let's see!
(My answers for Hubby are in blue, for me are in magenta.)

A man should be able to:

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence.
The Hubby is a man of few words, that's for sure. Sometimes he has good advice. If he doesn't, he'll just keep quiet.
Me? One sentence? Never!

2. Tell if someone is lying.
The Hubby is an excellent card player. He has very good instincts for this.
I'm alright.

3. Take a photo.
The Hubby never takes photos, and therefore we have almost no pictures of me with our babies. I am always the one taking the photos. Ironically, however, he is always being asked by strangers to take their picture. This happens around here, and around the world! It's kind of amazing. He must look trustworthy and competent. (Well, he is.)
I can take a decent photo with my point-and-shoot.

4. Score a baseball game.
Absolutely! He has been an expert at all things Sport since he was The Boy's age.
My Daddy taught me how to score a baseball game when I was a kid. I really enjoy it.

5. Name a book that matters.
One of our earliest conversations was about Ralph Ellison's The Invisible Man. Unfortunately, neither of us read many books anymore, although when we were college kids we dreamed that one day we would have a house with room for a library.

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.
I don't know about that, but he knows a lot about a number of groups, and can carry on a great conversation about music.
Name a song by Huey Lewis & the News. I know 'em all.

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
I am sure that he could, but why bother? He's good at the grill.
I don't grill. As for meat, I prefer to cook fish.

8. Not monopolize the conversation.
The Hubby has the opposite problem, actually.
For me, it really depends. Sometimes I can't stop myself from talking, and other times I am a wallflower.

10. Buy a suit.
Yes.
No.

11. Swim three different strokes.
Yes, although he is pretty out-of-practice.
I suck at swimming. But I could fake my way through three strokes.

12. Show respect without being a suck-up.
Absolutely. He radiates respect and loyalty.
I am not a suck-up. And I respect people. So I guess I'll say yes.

13. Throw a punch.
I wonder. I am sure he never has, and I can't imagine he ever would, but he probably knows in theory how it should be done.
Absolutely not at all.

14. Chop down a tree.
Not without injuring himself.
Hopeless.

15. Calculate square footage.
Yes, fo' sho'.
Me, too.

16. Tie a bow tie.
We would need to learn this together by watching a video on YouTube or something.

17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
Not in large batches, but we'd both like to practice this.

18. Speak a foreign language.
Not really, no.
I can sort of communicate.

19. Approach a woman out of his league.
No. In fact, I finally had to approach him back in the day (and I am out of his league, right?).
I'm kind of intimidated by beautiful women myself.
I loved this one in the original article!

20. Sew a button.
I know he could do this if he just gave it a try. But he always makes me do it.

21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
I don't know what they would be arguing about, but he has never used a cheap shot.
Ditto for me.

22.
Oh, no. This one is not in my blog comfort zone.

23. Be loyal.
Hubby takes this one. He is the epitome of loyal.
This is a really good one in the article, too!

24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope.
Oh, yes. And he knows how to order it, too.
I like to let him surprise me.

25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
He is not a handyman. All home projects involve a lot of cussing.
I hold my own pretty well, but I don't completely understand the terminology here.

26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
I think so. He would be very rusty at it, though.
I have not done this since I was about eleven years old. I think sighing would probably be involved.

27. Play gin with an old guy.
Oh, he would LOVE to! This is right up his alley.
I would get my ass handed to me on a platter.

29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
I think he would know what this is talking about. As an Engineering major, he took more physics than I did.
I took a year of physics in college, but ... wha??

30. Feign interest.
I'd have to say he is not great at this one.
I used to be better at this, before I was so tired all the time.

31. Make a bed.
He certainly can. And sometimes, he does!
Ummm, yeah.

32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick.
We like drinking wine. We are not snobby about it. But we don't usually say much besides "interesting" or "smooth."
This one is really good in the article too.

33. Hit a jump shot in pool.
I really do think he could do this. There was a snooker table in his dad's basement.
Not on purpose.

34. Dress a wound.
We would both manage alright, I think.

35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
I bet he could do these, but I think there would be some cussing involved.
I have only done the second one.

36. Make three different bets at a craps table.
Let's just say this right now. All the gambling/cards ones? Let me just understate it and say he's got these covered.
I don't gamble. I will play cards (my family enjoyed playing games growing up), but I am not competitive or strategic. I'm in it for the conversation and the bonding.

37. Shuffle a deck of cards.
See #36.
(Oh... I can do this, no problem.)

38. Tell a joke.
We are both hopeless.

39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
See #36.

40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear.
We are good with kids. But our almost-eight-year-old does not seem to hear us.

41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
We are very nice to our servers.

42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.
The Hubby is a man of few words.
I am kind of lame around dogs.

43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help.
This would be a bad scene.
Why not ask for help?

44. Ask for help.
Too late.
Oh, I see.

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist.
I can't imagine him ever needing to do this.
I need to go read the article again 'cuz I should learn how to do this.

46. Tell a woman's dress size.
I think he has no idea. But he might surprise me.
I try not to think about it.

47. Recite one poem from memory.
Not unless it involves sports stats.
My brain is full of holes.

48. Remove a stain.
Yes, although he usually consults with me for tips.

49. Say no.
I forget what the article was referring to.

50. Fry an egg sunny-side up.
We both sometimes have yolk troubles.

51. Build a campfire.
I bet he could make this happen with some trial and error. He's probably done it before.
Me, no way.

52. Step into a job no one wants to do.
Yes, he quietly takes care of things for people.
Hello? Stay at home mom. This is all I do all day.

53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
Absolutely not.
Ditto. Unless we're talking about a verbal tirade, after the fact.

54. Break up a fight.
I don't think he's ever done this, although it's far more likely than actually being involved in a fight.
Hello? Stay at home mom. This is all I do all day.

55. Point to the north at any time.
Yes, I don't know how he does it!
I just learned this from the article! Woot!

56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
We used to do this for each other in college.

57. Explain what a light-year is.
Yes.
Yes.

58. Avoid boredom.
He does not like being bored.
Avoid what now?

59. Write a thank-you note.
Yes, he can, and he even does if I ask him to.
Oh you betcha.

60. Be brand loyal to at least one product.
Diet Pepsi.
Why?

61. Cook bacon.
We don't cook bacon.

62. Hold a baby.
Yes, absolutely! In fact, he was nineteen and we had been together for two weeks. I saw him holding his one-year-old cousin. And I was a puddle on the floor.
Um, ya think?

63. Deliver a eulogy.
He could do a great job. Thankfully, he hasn't had to do this yet.
I would be a mess.

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.
This one is weird. You have to read the article. I think it's about giving up your long-held beliefs if confronted with new information? Um, I think? I can't even deal with this one right now.

65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.
Not as well as he used to.
I watch sports.

68. Find his way out of the woods if lost.
Um, yeah, no idea.
Not a chance.

69. Tie a knot.
Any kind of knot? We both could make one happen.

70. Shake hands.
He has a condition that makes his palms very sweaty. Four years ago, he had a procedure that fixed the problem. He enjoys shaking hands now, and he really appreciates being able to!
I have a good handshake.

71. Iron a shirt.
He thinks he can't, but he could do it.
Ya.

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.
Only if the thought counts.

73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.
I don't know what he's talking about with the back of the fingers, wha?

74. Know some birds.
Maybe owl vs. pelican.
A few.

75. Negotiate a better price.
Neither of us are any good at this.

You can read the article here - it helps because it makes the list seem less random!

It goes without saying that this is one person's idea of necessary man skills. Mine would be different! The Hubby has never been a guy who needs to seem "manly," and that in itself demonstrates his sexy self-confidence. Nothin' more manly to me than a guy who sees men and women as just people: we all are here to love one another.

I read this post at Dad Gone Mad today, and he talks about how much he loves taking care of his kids, and it sure hit me where it counts - right in the tear ducts! Go read about a real man, KINDA LIKE MINE.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Quebec & Me

(It's long, but even if you don't read it, please scroll down to the photos at the end of the story!)

June 25, 1993

Saying good-bye to Mom at the airport in Portland, Oregon, she boards her plane to Vancouver. It's a small plane, one of the first of this size that she has experienced. She is 20 years old and it is just about two weeks after her sophomore year in college. As she sits on this little plane, she is feeling proud of her independence.

In Vancouver, she must connect to a flight to Toronto. Somehow she find out that she must pay an airport tax here. She exchanges some money and takes care of the fee. She finds her flight and congratulates herself - there is nothing she can't do!

Several hours and time zones later, she finds herself in Toronto with some time to kill before her flight to Quebec City. She browses in the airport shops and reads the books she started on the earlier flights.

She arrives in Quebec City after nightfall and checks into her hotel for the night. The hotel staff were nice despite her complete ignorance of the French language, helping her make a plan for getting to the bus depot early in the morning. Before falling asleep for the night, she calls Mom to report a safe journey thus far.

Hearing Mom's voice on the other end of the phone brings an unexpected wave of emotions. The pride and independence she was feeling is submerging, and her feelings of nervousness and apprehension are bubbling up to the surface. She tries to fight them off, but they betray her in a quivering voice that Mom, of course, detects. Mothers know the tones in their children's voices. Mom talks her through the rest of the trip's plan, as she fights off the tears that are now forcing themselves into her eyes. She ultimately loses the battle in an explosion of sobbing insecurity.

I know it will be okay, I'm just so scared. I am going to be camping for two weeks, and I have never been camping before. I hope I brought the right gear. I know the program made sure that enough people were bringing tents and stoves, but I hope finding a person who'll take me in goes smoothly. I hope I figure out the restroom and shower situation at the campground. I hope I am cut out for this research. Studying whales is what I want to do with my life! What if I hate it or am hopelessly incompetent? Then my dreams will be shattered and how will I deal with that? This is too much new stuff for me and I am too far away from everyone! I am so alone out here!

Mom comforts her daughter with caring words of encouragement. Daughter says goodnight and calls her boyfriend to repeat the sobbing conversation all over again.

Red-eyed and queasy-stomached, she awakens the next morning and calls a cab to take her to the bus depot. She must arrive in time to purchase her ticket (speaking no French) and board the bus to Grandes Bergeronnes before it departs at 9:20 am.

Arriving at the bus depot, she sees a small group of young women carrying sleeping bags, dressed in "outdoor"-style clothing. The college sponsoring this Field Studies course had sent out a roster, and strangely enough, only women had enrolled in this session. They all made eye contact and subsequently discovered that they were heading to the same place. On the bus together, and during the lunch stop, everyone enjoyed getting to know the fellow students who would be sharing in this adventure. Our heroine's stomach relaxed a bit, but not much; it helped a lot that Jennifer had already adopted her for a tent-mate, but she still worried about the campground and whether she was physical enough to handle the boat work.

They arrived in Grandes Bergeronnes and met their instructor: a real, honest-to-God whale researcher. He looked like a salty man of the sea: a few teeth missing, bright white hair pulled back into a pony tail, a raincoat and Wellington boots. He would eventually reveal himself to be one of the most caring instructors she would ever have, a teacher with a passion for not only his subject, but also for teaching itself.

He took the students to their campground, showed them around, helped them get set up, and took them to the closest market to buy provisions. He supplied a kitchen tent so the students would have a common area at the campsite. That night, after dinner, he walked them over to his home, and gave them an introductory lecture in his living room. They would be on the water, out with the whales, in the morning!

Our young heroine found that the campground was reasonably well equipped, and her tent-mate was a perfect fit. They made themselves a cozy little space and fell asleep with the sound of the wind in the trees above their heads.

They awoke the next morning to find a rainy, drippy day. The instructor came to fetch his students, with the bad news that the weather would keep them on the shore. He felt it was a perfect opportunity to do some of his lectures, since he usually taught the seminars every other night. This time, he could get them out of the way at the beginning of the course and the students could have free time at night. Since it rained part of the next day as well, that is exactly what happened. The students spent their usual lecture nights working on their research projects (also in the instructor's house) or heading over to the dance club in Tadoussac.

He taught them about the whales that come into the St. Lawrence River during the summer to find plankton and fish to eat. They would be seeing many minke and finback whales, although they were too early in the summer to see the blue whales. They would also see the only non-artic population of the small white beluga whales. He taught them about the behaviors they would be observing from the boats and how to identify what the whales were doing from what was visible above the water's surface. The frequency of breathing and the curve of the arch or kick of the tail as they dove back under would tell them if they were resting, traveling, or hunting for a food source. Feeding behaviors could be quite dramatic if the whales had located a school of fish. They would be traveling at higher speeds, often breaking through the surface with a great, open mouth and extended throat.

He taught them about the physiology of the whales with respect to oxygen intake. Because they breathe air but live in the water, they must consciously regulate their oxygen supply. During their visits to the surface, they must allow time for all of their cells to get rid of carbon dioxide and take in oxygen, which must travel through the bloodstream to/from the lungs and blowhole. His research has shown that to accomplish this, most whales take four breaths per dive cycle. The students listened, looked at the slides, and took notes, all the while longing to be out there seeing it for themselves.

Soon enough, the morning came when Prof. Salty invited the students to come down to the dock. He gave them all full-body flotation-insulation suits to protect them if they fell into the water, explaining that the suit would give them a few minutes before they became hypothermic, while the students chuckled nervously. They boarded the two zodiacs, received further instruction on boat safety and equipment, and headed out! The zodiacs sped across the water. The students' arms started to hurt as they held tight to the ropes and handles, bouncing up and down with the wind whipping against them. Our young heroine felt much better seeing her nervous exhilaration mirrored in all the faces of her fellow students. This was hard, but she was just like everyone else!

All of the gritted facial expressions changed the first time they saw a whale. They learned how to record the data: how many whales were in the group, time between breaths (for the lead whale in particular), type of dive or swim, sonar readings, location, air temperature, wind speed, bearing of the whales, and distance from the boat. They listened and they learned, but they could barely contain their emotions because they were sitting on the side of an inflatable boat with a whale about 50 meters away! A breath-taking, awe-inspiring animal that spends most of its life inaccessible to people. Its life below the surface is one we can try to deduce from the few clues of its surface behaviors, but remains a fascinating mystery.

At the end of their first day, the students' bodies were cold and exhausted. It took a lot of strength to stay in that boat! Their minds and hearts, however, were energized. This experience was exactly what they had hoped. The scenery was beautiful, the animals fascinating. The next morning, Prof. Salty asked them, "who wants to go out again today, and who wants a shore break? I always let my students take days off." The students all wanted to go back out there.

For two weeks, they spent every decent-weather-day (all but one of the remaining days) on the water. By their last day, they were old pros. Their bodies no longer tired from the exertion of hanging on to the boat. They were quick to spot the surfacing whales from long distances. They were skilled at taking the data and using the equipment. They had developed their own proposals for research projects. Our heroine's final report proposed a study of how the tides affect the resting behaviors of finback whales. She predicted that during rising tides the whales would take advantage of the flowing water pushing the food up and concentrating it, and therefore a smaller proportion of their time would be spent in resting behaviors.

On their last day in Grandes Bergeronnes, the students packed up camp as quickly as they could and convinced the research assistants to take them on the water for just a few hours. (Prof. Salty had to prepare for the new batch of students arriving that afternoon.) They breathed in every last bit of the St. Lawrence River that they could, and then boarded the bus to head back to Quebec City. This time, our heroine was not alone. She was with a group of young women who had shared an experience that few people could fully understand. They were headed home to their summer jobs, and then back to their respective colleges, but they had one last night together in Quebec City. They explored the city together, and our heroine's jaw dropped in awe at the stunning architechture in the nearly four-centuries-old city. It was a bustling summer night; people were out enjoying themselves while walking among the shops along the old cobblestone streets or climbing on the fortress-like city walls.

This time, as she fell asleep in her Quebec City hotel bed in preparation for her early flight home, our young heroine knew that she would always hold this place in a special hollow of her heart. It was there that she had been lucky enough to meet these young women, and share some days with them in admiration of the magnificent animals that brought her spirit to life.

Minke and finback whales of the St. Lawrence
(Photos taken on my disposable camera. yes, disposable!)



The other zodiac is having a near-whale experience. Both boats had many of these, and I'm glad I captured what it looked like from afar.

That's me in the middle. In this shot, you can see the flotation-insulation suits we wore, as well as how we were perched on the pontoons of the inflatable boat. My parents were a little freaked out when I got home and showed them my photos!
That's my tent-mate Jennifer on the right.

Friday, April 4, 2008

100 Things About Me

1. My father is a physician.

2. My mother is a tap dance teacher. Before I was born, she was a math teacher.

3. I have one brother (younger).

4. My brother is a Chinese (Mandarin) teacher.

5. I was not raised with any religion. But my parents raised my brother and I to be empathetic, principled people who care about others as well as about the natural world.

6. No religion has really resonated with me, except once while reading about Humanism (which is not a religion).

7. I do believe that prayer is powerful.

8. I am very active in our church community.

9. The Hubby is Catholic. We married in the Catholic Church, we are raising our children Catholic, and we are sending them to our parish school. I sing in the choir and do a lot of volunteer work at our church, and I love our church community. Everyone is surprised when they find out that I am not Catholic.

10. I was born in Monterey, California. In case you're not familiar, it's pretty much Heaven On Earth.

11. Except that I was born in an army hospital since my Dad was stationed there at the time. So that might cancel out the Heaven. (Particularly for my Mom, who had to clean up her own hospital room.)

12. I don't remember the army, though. My Dad was out by the time I was two. Then we lived in Eureka, California and went out crabbing and walking in the redwood forest.

13. I returned to Monterey for one summer in college, when I worked at the aquarium, tried to start a research project at the lab, lived with two nice boys who were taking classes at the lab, and had the best group of co-worker friends from the aquarium. But our schedules were such that when I had the day off, they were working, and vice versa. It was good to have to find things to do by myself. I particularly remember one great day at Point Lobos.

14. Meanwhile, my boyfriend (The Hubby) was working for a winery (yay!) in Modesto (boo!).

15. I grew up in Orange County, California when there were still orange groves.

16. I love Disneyland, but I'm not a Disney freak. I just have lots of good memories there. I feel strongly that Disneyland is superior to Disney World, because it is the original. (Although I have never been to Disney World.)

17. I sing in cover bands. I have two rock bands, a jazz group, and an acoustic group.

18. I started performing in musical theater at about age 9. I didn't want to make it my livelihood, but I'm having trouble at this point in my life managing to have it as a hobby. My last show was four years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with The Boy. I miss it! I hope that some day, when I'm ready to get back into it, theaters will want to cast me again.

19. I took piano lessons as a kid. At present, I can play with my right hand only; I can't do both hands at the same time and still have to say to myself "All Cows Eat Grass" to read bass clef. In the summer before 7th grade, my piano teacher saw me in a show and suggested I do voice lessons with him instead of piano - he had been wanting to start teaching voice. During and after college, I had two other voice teachers who were much better teachers. I sometimes wonder what I would have achieved if I had had one who knew what they were doing when I was young.

20. I went to Stanford, and got two degrees (B.S. in Biology and M.A. in Education). Stanford is probably my favorite place in the world.

21. I met my husband in our freshman dorm at Stanford.

22. I was a teacher. (I am a really good teacher, because I like to break down concepts and figure out different ways to explain them. I like to discover different ways a person might think about them.)

23. I taught seventh grade science and a senior elective at an all-girls' private school.

24. I like 7th and 12th graders.

25. The first teaching job I had was as a dance teacher while I was in high school.

26. At Stanford, as an undergrad, I taught a Biology lab course.

27. When I was in high school, everyone thought I would be a performer or a writer. But I decided I wanted to be a marine biologist.
One who does theater as a hobby.
And has a family.

28. I found it frustrating to major in Biology with a bunch of hyper pre-meds in my classes.

29. One of my college professors told me I should apply to medical school.

30. I had one boyfriend nearly all through high school (although during my senior year he was away at college).

31. I had one boyfriend all through college.

32. The Hubby and I had a long-distance relationship between college and our wedding.

33. I sang a song instead of giving a toast at our wedding reception.

34. I had four maids-of-honor and no bridesmaids (or four bridesmaids and no maid-of-honor).

35. I have kind of lost touch with one of my bridesmaids.

36. Our wedding was in Oregon even though neither of us lived there at the time.

37. We went to London for our honeymoon.

38. I am a stay at home mom.

39. I worked when Big Girl was two years old. I worked at an aquarium two days a week. I had a long commute.

40. I was the first uniformed employee at the aquarium to be pregnant. (They had to figure out a maternity uniform because of me, which was a good thing because a few other employees were pregnant shortly thereafter.)

41. I stopped working at the aquarium a couple of months before Middle Girl was born.

42. I am NOT a scrapbooker.

43. I can never remember jokes.

44. I have a messy relationship with Writing. I am actually pretty good at it, if I take enough time. I have written some wonderful things, but it's tortuous. It involves several days of agonizing over word choice (I have a large vocabulary, but words don't come to me very well - I feel like I have to excavate them from my brain with a tiny pickaxe), getting up and walking around, sitting down again to write a sentence, thinking over that sentence as I walk to the kitchen for a spoonful of peanut butter, repeat, repeat, repeat, except this time maybe I'll have some applesauce. It is exhausting. And I have no time for this anymore. So I stick with stream-of-consciousness writing and crap grammar just so I can get something out. If I tried to actually write, I would never finish even a paragraph. Maybe when the kids are older? But then I will probably be back-at-work, so... no.

45. I hate crap grammar. When I see grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, they jump out at me and "make my neck itch." It's ironic, I know.

46. I used to be punctual, observant, and possessing of a photographic memory. Since my first baby started growing inside me, I have been none of those things.

47. I used to know all 75 of my students' names after just 2-3 days. Now, I can't ever remember ANYBODY's name. If I go back to teaching, I'll need them to wear nametags.

48. I am a sucker for flowers. Except carnations. (Never mind that my brother wrote a report in elementary school on "The Carnation: The Superior Flower.")

49. Flowers don't love me back. I don't have a green thumb; I have a withered brown thumb.

50. I like fonts! Much to my husband's chagrin, I have even spent a few hundred dollars one some particularly beautiful fonts.

51. I believe that your choice of font says a lot. It's like a party invitation. The design of the invitation, and the font, tell the receiver a lot about what kind of party it's going to be. I'm not a graphic designer, but I probably could have been one.

52. I don't much care for the font choices on Blogger.

53. My kids would love to eat only pasta and bread.

54. I am a perfectionist. But not about everything. (The Hubby told me to include: "You are selectively anal retentive.")

The Hubby also told me to include the following:
55. "You're a trendsetter but nobody follows you."
(hee - by which he means that I like things (TV shows, for example) before they get popular.)

56. "You don't like when they change things, like March Madness or the Pac-10 basketball tournament or the BCS Bowl Games. Also that they moved the Pac-10 football rivalries."

57. "You think people should never ever ever open presents on Christmas Eve."

58. John Cusack is my Secret Boyfriend.

59. I also love Matt Damon.

60. I do not like to cook.

61. I read at a young age. Big Girl did too, and Middle is becoming a reader as I type. I love to read books, but sadly, don't read much except blogs and magazines these days.

62. I have the best mother-in-law in the world.

63. I love redheads.

64. I love the movie "The Cutting Edge."

65. There was a period in my life when I watched hockey.

66. My third child was a surprise.

67. Thank God we had always talked about having three.

68. I only went to preschool for three days.

69. I don't like making phone calls.

70. My Dad is a sports fan, and so is The Hubby.

71. I don't like feet.

72. I LOVE(D) the feet of my own babies and toddlers. Want(ed) to eat them.

73. We have no family nearby. The closest is 300 miles away. Most are 900 miles away.

74. I think I want to go shopping, but then I am miserable. I think I might hate shopping.

75. I was once a contestant in a beauty pageant, because my high school boyfriend talked me into it.

76. I came in third.

Big Girl says:
77. "My Mom is the greatest! She's very nice."

78. "She has dark brown hair."

79. "She reads us a story every bedtime."

Middle Girl says:
80. "My Mom takes me to the park."

81. "I love my Mom."

82. "She calls me Peanut."

The Boy says:
83. "My Mom tells me I'm a Punkin."

84. "My Mom pushes me on the swing."

85. I fret too much that time is going by too quickly.

86. For a while, I had three cats. Now I have one.

87. For me, the most important political issue is the environment.

88. I think of myself as a good friend, but actually I am terrible at keeping in touch.

89. In college, my jobs included: research assistant (for an ecologist studying a grassland and for a neurologist studying posture and balance), aquarium educator, course assistant, Board Member of the theater group (as well as show staff and cast member), and I helped with whale research in Quebec and Australia.

90. With all three pregnancies, I did not "find out what I was having." I considered it with the third one.

91. When I was teaching, I helped design the new Middle School science building. Last month, nearly 8 years after leaving the place, I saw my old classroom. It made me sad that it is so sterile now. I had animals and aquariums and posters and student artwork up all over. Science should stimulate the mind!

92. I do not have a teaching credential. A Master's degree in Education from Stanford, but no teaching credential. You could say I slipped through the cracks.

93. I had a student, B, who loved science, but didn't get the best grades. As she went through her high school science classes, I made sure that she didn't get lost in the system. I spoke to her science teacher at the start of each new year, advocating that they put some extra effort into this kid, because she could become a scientist. I made sure she never found out about what I did. She went to Texas A&M where she studied Wildlife and Fisheries Sciences and is now in vet school. I am so proud of her! I have lots of other students who pursued science and medicine, but none who worked as hard to do so.

94. When I was pregnant the first time, I didn't stop taking my Hip-Hop dance class until my 7th month. It was kind of fun being the pregnant lady in a room full of youngsters, and keeping up with them!

95. Besides ballet, tap, jazz, and hip-hop, I have also taken Irish dance. I won an award at a feis (Irish dance competition).

96. When we were kids, my mom thought my brother would become a scientist, and I would do something with languages, as those seemed to be our academic strengths. It turned out exactly the opposite. You never can tell!

97. I love my husband's (extended) family, but after 15 years with them, something happened this past Christmas that makes me uncomfortable around them.

98. I have only been a bridesmaid once. And that time, I was not standing up with the rest of the bridal party, because I was singing and dealing with my flower-girl daughters.

99. When I was in 7th grade science class, I used to make sure I answered one or two questions wrong on the test so that my teacher would not announce that I had the highest score. A few times, I had the highest score anyway. I almost just deleted that last sentence.

100. I failed my driving test the first time.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Six words

As seen on: pretty much my whole link list over there --->


Originally started by the ultra cool Smith Magazine. The history: Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).

Here are the rules: 1) Write your own six word memoir; 2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like; 3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere; 4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and 5) Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.



OK, here's mine:
Often above average but never remarkable



Umph... urph... fighting the urge to write a bazillion-word explanation of that because I think it makes me sound conceited, which I'm really really not... grrrph... blergh.


How about:
Desiring controlled life, must give up

Many choices available, blessing and burden



If you haven't done this already and want to do it, consider yourself tagged.



Mine are more like headlines than sentences, but that's not a surprise since succinctness is not my strong suit. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever met succinctness. Is it even a word?

You are fortunate that I have never left a message on your answering machine. I am so ridiculous leaving messages. Here's a real recap of one I left last week:

"Hi, Helen, it's Barbra. I was just calling because I was thinking about that sauteed shrimp and mushroom dish you made when we were at your house for dinner last week? I think you said it was pretty simple and I was wondering if you could give me the recipe. My brother and his wife are here and we are going to ... oh, blah blah blah you don't need to know all the details but basically I am making a lot of dinners and need a new idea and I do have some shrimp and mushrooms in the refrigerator. So, what do you do? Do you sautee them with some wine or just some olive oil? Do you use any seasoning? I'm here at home and I should be here all afternoon since Mrs. Wagner is bringing Big Girl home from school today. Sometimes she can't because her daughter has Brownies but it turns out that they're not meeting today so she'll be dropping her off and I don't have to go anywhere this afternoon. So give me a call when you can and let me know just what I need to put in the pan with the shrimp and mushrooms. Uh, is that everything? Was there anything else I needed to talk to you about as well? Hmmmmm... let me think.... No, I can't thing of anything else right now but I'm sure something will come to me as soon as I hang up the phone. Maybe when you call back with the recipe I'll have remembered it. Okay, talk to you later bye."

(I always say the goodbye sentence really fast because I am so embarrassed that the message is so long and somehow I think this will redeem me.)

Ugh. I am not exaggerating about that message! I really do leave messages just like that. I need to take a class or something. The worst thing of all about that message is that it turns out that her husband was the one who listened to it! {{Mortified}} Because when she called back, she said, "Chris told me you needed a recipe from me?"

Saturday, March 22, 2008

It's My Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me!

I am 35 years old today. I still look the same as I did in high school, except with a bigger butt and more sunspots on my face. My 35-years-old resolution? Be better about sunscreen. Oh, and stop worrying about how old you are and just enjoy the ride!

I don't know what I would have expected my life to be like by the time I turned 35. That seemed too old to even contemplate when I was younger.

I do know that I have three great kids and I am married to my best friend. I'm so glad that I am here.


So, what am I doing for my birthday? Well, today my mom is making some cute cupcakes ... that's a great way to feel like a kid again! Tonight I am singing at Easter Vigil mass - three hours. Not what I would choose for my birthday...

Tomorrow night The Hubby is taking me out to dinner at a fondue place. Mmmm, cheese and chocolate. He knows me well.

And I bought myself this bag:

I am a sucker for a good floral print!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Flowers out front

I love flowers.

I am a complete sucker for flowers.

I have to admit, if I'm shopping for clothes, home furnishings, you name it -- if a floral is available, that's what I am drawn to. When I was younger, any flower would get me. Now that I'm more discerning, there are in fact floral prints that make me nauseous. But a bright, tasteful floral?

Fuggedaboudit.

When I got married, the flowers were a very important part of the wedding for me. MUCH more so than the food. (I was Young then!) My mom kept the budget in mind and scaled me back a LOT (and good for her), but I wanted flowers flowers flowers.

Spring flowers are my favorite. Tulips, daffodils, peonies, freesia, sweet peas, lisianthus, roses... oh, and I just love sweet little forget-me-nots.

But, looking outside, I have some chosen some unexpected plants for my beds. And my younger self would be shocked and disappointed, but I really love them!

This one looks like a cabbage, but on closer inspection, its frilly edges and very faint hint of pink in the center really add to its natural, unusual beauty.



This one is really small and low to the ground, sort of a ground cover. The white blossoms are very simple and small, and my younger flower snob self would have passed it right over as "boring." But I really like the combination of shapes between its leaves and its flowers.



Oh, and the dresses at the Academy Awards this year pretty much bored me. Am I getting old? It just made me wistful for this:

Oh, how I loved that one! It was 1999, when she was robbed! She was a GENIUS in the first Elizabeth movie. Sure, Gwyneth was cute and touching, but Cate Blanchett was awe-inspiring.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What I wore to my identity crisis

My identity crisis* took place at a performance of a new musical called "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson." It's an emo-rock, slightly absurdist look at our seventh President. It was presented by Center Theatre Group, the premier theatre company in Los Angeles. So: big-time show, but also hip and edgy.

(* "crisis" is definitely not the right word, I was more "brooding," but go with me here)

I wore my dark-washed jeans, a long sleeved black top, my high-heeled black boots, my silver necklace made by my late friend Annette, and my rose alpaca wrap. I carried my handbag made of black sticks (sounds weird, but it gets compliments from strangers all the time).

I think I handled the situation well, armed in clothes that made me feel more relevant than my daily wardrobe of mom-mess-ready t-shirt and jeans. Clothes really can help you cope.

So a few weeks ago, I had to decide whether to renew my subscription to Backstage (the trade magazine full of audition announcements). It's really expensive, and the last show I did was in 2004 right around the time I became pregnant with child #3 (surprise!). That show was tough on the family, because I was gone every night for the months of rehearsal and then the months of performances. I now have another outlet for performing (my bands), which involves a much less intense rehearsal and performance schedule. However, I have been performing in theatrical productions my entire life, and although I made a conscious decision at a young age not to pursue it as a career, I did intend to keep it as a hobby, and giving up Backstage meant facing the music and admitting that I am not acting right now. But Hubby and I both said, I can always re-subscribe or pick one up at the newsstand to get updated or get back into it. So I decided, let's not renew it. Hubby's "are you sure? are you sure?" was very sweet and helped me feel okay about this temporary break in my onstage life. I felt okay about it.

Then, I got an email from an old friend of mine, Anjali, who I haven't seen since high school since she is now a professional actress living in New York. She was here in LA appearing in "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson," and had just remembered that I live somewhere around LA; after emails back-and-forth it was decided that Hubby and I should come see the show. I knew that this was going to result in much introspection for me.

You see, Anjali was a year younger than me and saw my life as an actress outside of school, and wanted some of that for herself. So we did a show together, and I drove her there, and we did shows together in school too, and we were quite a pair. I think I was kind of a mentor or role model for her. I adored her, as did everyone: she is delightful and open and loyal and fun.

As I said before, I already knew that I didn't want to try for a career as an actress. I had lots of friends who were older than me and giving it a try, and to me, it looked miserable. The rejection, the uncertainty, the many talented people who go overlooked. I think there are many people who see that stuff and say, "so what? I don't care. I have to act!" but I am not one of those people. So I went off to my beloved university, where I could study science and still perform on stage on the side. Meanwhile, there was never any doubt that Anjali was one of those people for whom the drawbacks of acting are nothing compared with her desire to do this for a living. Whether or not I had been there acting with her, this was something that she would have ended up doing, there's no question. After she finished high school, she went to a great school in the Chicago area to major in theater, and kept at it, and then moved to NYC, and Broadway casts and Tony nominations, and lo and behold it's been years since we've seen each other.

So she's in a big-time, exciting new show, and it's here in LA, and it's the same week that I faced the music and temporarily suspended (but it's hard to get back in at my age) my Backstage subscription, otherwise known as my connection to the industry.

With my supportive and understanding Hubby, I went to see her show. It was interesting. It was certainly new and different. I felt that there were things that really worked and things that didn't so much. It was like the quiet kid in the corner of high school history class, with his black hair and Doc Martens and writing scratched all over his skin, is underneath it all a musical genius and a history buff and wrote a show about the life of Andrew Jackson, and how he is obsessed with blood and violence and destroying the Indians, and then grows up to overthrow the New England aristocratic ruling class and found the Democratic Party. Quite a trippy, intense experience to take in. While you're brooding about an identity crisis.

It was wonderful to see her, and I don't know about her, but I felt like it had only been a few months since I last saw her.

But as I predicted, I've been brooding about my choices, and what if I had chosen to go down a different path, yada yada, for a couple of days. It cannot be helped. When I decided on the path I did walk, I knew that I would have days like this down the road. But I have the life I want and the husband I need in order to work through it and fight to at least keep it as a hobby. I know that if I had it all to do over, I would make the same decision again. I love my life as a normal person, with a home and a family. And I know that Anjali would make the same decision that she made, too, a life of uncertainty, and flying around the country and shipping her belongings for a few months here and a few months there, so that she can be other people for a living. And there is no one who is more proud of her than I am! You go, Anj! I love you!


Here we are in the first show she did outside of school, when I took her along with me. This is West Side Story. Please notice that my 16-year-old self in 1989 felt that big bangs were too important to re-style for the show. Even if they aren't period-appropriate. Sheesh, that is embarrassing.

Here we are in a school production my senior year, when I played her ditzy maid.

I really look tall in these pictures. Here's one from another school show, so you can see that I am barely average height. Anjali is a tiny little pixie. This is our dear friend Jodie. I am very happy to see that I my hair was in the right era for the show.

Here we are on Saturday, at a bar after her show. The (absence of) lighting in the bar made the flash do horrible things to my face, so it doesn't really look like me, but isn't Anj cute?

This is what I look like in a normal photo:

Scenes from "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson" (Anjali played Rachel, his wife) (I think these are publicity photos):
The show portrays Andrew and Rachel Jackson as cutters.


Here's a picture I found from the reception after opening night. Here she is with the actors who played Andrew Jackson (left) and Martin Van Buren (right), genius performances both, and who was in the audience but Jim! (John Krasinski)

Here are some clips of the show, if you want to see what I mean:


There are two clips of interviews with creators and cast at YouTube.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Just call me Nate

My front door:

This is a Valentine's Day decoration I picked up at Tar-jhay a few years back. It is so fetching on my front door. I particularly love the way it sits a bit whoppyjod* (one of my mom's words - LOVE IT) because that is just the sort of high-class home decorator that I am.


*wanky, crooked, cock-eyed, tipsy (a feeling I myself enjoy), carefully balanced at a slight angle so as to appear whimsical (um, yeah, that's it)...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Okay, the details

On Saturday, I was driving home from a gig just before midnight, and I was stopped in the slow lane of the freeway due to an accident ... when I was rear-ended. Well, he tried to swerve into the next lane over but still clipped the corner of my bumper.

Everyone was fine, the cops there for the previous accident helped us exchange info, it took only 15 minutes or so. So, as far as midnight freeway accidents go, I am very very lucky.

But it made me feel vulnerable and reminded me that you can be doing everything right, and still be involved in an accident, maybe even a bad one. So even though it was not a big deal, I was a little bit shaken.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

barbra's weekend

I think this about sums it up:



I am taking comfort in the fact that I like my insurance company so much. Because we have had to call them quite a few times during our ownership of the Odyssey.

"Hi, it's us again!"

Actually, that conversation did happen at H's Body Shop when I got an estimate on Monday!
Body Shop Employee: "Wait, I know this car, is that who I think it is?!"
Me: "Yep, we're back!"

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Truth about Three

This is a follow-up to my "Ode to Three." If you haven't read it, please go here (or scroll down a few days) and read it first.

Then come back to hear more about it!

_______________


I need to share with you the background of my post "Ode to Three." Picture me at my computer, composing loving thoughts about my children. While writing about the wonder of the first baby, Big Girl was standing next to me throwing a HUGE fit because she couldn't find her silver locket. Tears flying, much yelling, not pretty.

While writing about my two daughters, so devoted to one another, Big Girl was bawling that Middle Girl had "given" her MG's gold locket "to keep forever" and now WANTS IT BACK!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

While waxing poetic about how wonderful it is to have three children, The Boy was putting stickers all over our wooden TV cabinet. Daddy came home and said, "TB, WHAT have you been up to?" Between that and throwing every ball we own over the fence and into the pool FIVE TIMES last weekend, we're sure glad to have our three!


So, now that we've both enjoyed a good laugh about that (and SIL S. gave me a pat on the back for still being able to focus on the positive in my writing during that scene), it's time for the TRUTH about three.


CHAOS.


It takes them less than ten minutes to make a complete mess out of any room in the house. And often, this is happening in two or three rooms simultaneously.

One urges another to remove all of the couch cushions and turn the couch into a trampoline.

One decides to tackle the others and knock them to the ground (over and over) whether they like it or not.

Another decides to wail and moan and play a victim instead of just getting away from the tackling sibling.

You know how kids suddenly do ANYTHING to get your attention when you're on the phone? Now imagine three kids doing it, while also competing with each other over who can be the loudest and most demanding.

You think you've got it made, two kids have agreed on the same thing for lunch! or are in agreeable moods for an errand or the walk to school! But wait, before you thank your lucky stars, there's another kid in the mix, and they are NOT agreeing to the plan.

I'm so used to the chaos at this point that it has become background noise. I don't really hear them anymore! I wish I had a dime for every time I've been talking to someone and they say "Um, I think your son is trying to get your attention," and I suddenly realize he's been wailing at me and pulling on my leg and I hadn't even noticed! So, yeah, the chaos has pushed me over the edge a bit.


When other mothers find out I have three kids, they almost always say, "You have THREE? I don't know HOW you do it." and I just give them the answer my moms have both given me about coping with kids: you just do it.

The thing that seems to give people pause most often is the idea that they would be outnumbered by the kids. With two, each parent can handle one kid, and everyone is covered. Each child is holding a parent's hand, and that lessens the chances of somebody running off. But it's okay - we learn that we all need to take responsibility for our family. There are only two parents, but the kids learn that if we all help watch out for each other and share ownership of our family, we'll all be okay. And I think that's a really great thing to learn. I admit, it's not like they act this way all the time, but I think it's an underlying lesson that slowly is taught just by how the family works. We can't rely on someone else to take care of everything, we have to participate in order for our world to work.

And similarly, we can't control everything and have it be a certain, precise way, we've got to relax a bit and be flexible and creative. Because there are other people around who demand (and deserve) a say as well.

So bring on the chaos. I don't mind it. (Well, sometimes I need a break from it, but that's okay too. We learn that we need a break and we find ourselves a getaway sometimes.)

Yeah, maybe three ain't always so pretty. In fact, I'd say it's messy, but also ... beautiful.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Why I Don't Home School

Big Girl has a science assignment: Transparent, Translucent, and Opaque. I asked her to please read me the instructions. "Have your child hold various items from around your household in front of a sunny window. Discuss how much light comes through each item. Put each item in your chart under either "All (transparent)," "Some (translucent)," or "None (opaque)."

Then I said, "Okay, BG, go collect some things." "No, I want you to do it," said BG. "And I want you to hold them up to the light, too," she added. "No," I said, "this is your assignment and it says for the child to do it." "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted. "WHY DOES THE CHILD HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING???!!!"


Epilogue:
I told her that it is fair, since she is the student, after all, the one doing the learning. But she yelled some more about how the child has to do everything, and then stomped around the house for a while muttering about how the child has to do everything.

Eventually she came to me with a bunch of items and I sat by the window with her while she held them up and we talked about the light coming through.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Ode to Three

Nothing on earth can compare to the first baby.

When two people become three.

Two people who love each other and can't wait to share their love with a new person of their very own. Two people looking into each other's eyes and knowing the baby will be as amazing as the person looking back.

Then, holding hands and quietly looking at the baby together and marveling at her beauty. No baby on Earth has ever been this beautiful. Marveling at how lucky the three of them are to have each other.

Watching every little facial expression and every little movement. It's all so profound. This little, perfect person is us. It's like our hearts joined together and made something new, and it's living outside of us and still inside at the same time.

Then walking with a sweet little toddler, one hand in Daddy's big hand, one hand in Mommy's soft one. Both parents smiling down at their treasure and then smiling over at their partner in life.


When baby number two enters the family, things are different this time. Gone are the shared glances over the new baby or the precious toddler, replaced by two parents running after two kids going in opposite directions. Or mom up nursing in the middle of the night while dad is down the hall helping the three-year-old back to sleep. But the parents now have more than they ever imagined. They have the sight of their firstborn gazing quietly at the new baby, their new baby, a person in this world who will stand by them and understand them like no one else could.

They have the discovery of their two little loves, who are somehow each the parent's whole world, walking hand in hand, or sitting nestled together with a book, or having fallen asleep in a hug after one crept into the other's bed.

They have the one-child-one-parent time, which now feels like a vacation, a gift. As any opportunity for your child to reveal more layers of herself to you should be.


But that's not what I'm writing about.


I'm writing about THREE.


Three finally made me feel complete. Like everybody we were waiting for is here with us.

Three is a gift to the children in the family. This time, when the child meets the new baby, she looks over at her sister and shares a knowing look. This baby is our baby. We will all always have each other. It's not just the two of us braving the world now, we are a group. We have our US.

The children always have someone to play with. They always have someone on their side. No matter which part of themself they want to be today, there's someone who can understand them. Even if others can't.

Three is a gift to the parents, too. For one thing, they have the amazing phenomenon that the same two people could produce such different children. And maybe it's actually not about the parents and their hopes and dreams for their new child, but it's about stepping back and letting their children be. Be who they will be. And learning about humanity from them. Loving the differences, the beautiful individualities.

My three little ducks have taught me to give them space.

Space to have a tantrum and figure out how to deal with it on their own because mommy is helping someone else with their diaper. Mommy has learned that they will be fine without every need being met every second. In fact, they may be better off that way.

Space to forge out these sibling relationships in their own way. Because when it comes down to it, they will take care of each other whether I tell them to or not.

Space to be who they are going to be. Because they are more amazing than I ever thought possible, and no matter what their gifts and talents turn out to be, what matters is love and happiness. Which comes from who you are and who you have and how you treat them, not how well you do in school or on the stage or field.

My babies have the knowledge that they have a safe place to fall. A family of five that will love them no matter what. Ten arms make a good net.


*****************

I've been preparing this post in my mind, waiting to write it here until I was allowed to share some good news, and that time has come!

Congratulations R and S! I'm so excited for you! Three is a magic number!

Friday, November 30, 2007

reasons why today's rainstorm is not good

1. because yesterday I overfilled the pool again (remember when I had a brain? I don't. Because my brain has left the building.)

2. because yesterday I bought TONS of flowers for both front and back so the gardener could plant them when he came today

3. my hair! and I have a gig tonight that I will be walking to!

4. three kids, two umbrellas. (Santa knows we need more umbrellas. But today is Nov. 30.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

some news about me

Eight weeks ago, I finally did something I've been meaning to do for a long time. When my 30th birthday came along, I decided that could be the impetus to get me to finally do it. But I had a new baby and thought it wouldn't be a good idea while I had little hands grabbing at me all the time. Then another new baby came along. Then ... well... this is not a big deal for most people, but I was self-conscious about being 34 and going in to get it done. So I was stalling and dragging my feet...

Then my friend Annette passed away of leukemia. She was a jewelry designer and I had purchased quite a bit of her pieces over the past few years. I wear some of them a lot, but there are some things I was still unable to wear. I was determined to finally just GO DO IT.

Here are just a few samples of her work, worn by ME!!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

For Nephew C

Dear Nephew C,
Auntie Barbra thought you might enjoy looking at these pictures. They are from the first day Big Girl was home from school with chicken pox. I found a huge mess in the girls' room, including the whole Calico Critters house and all the little things (The Boy and Big Girl had been playing with it but as usual did not clean up before moving on to other toys). I looked at all the messes all over the room, and then somehow found myself carefully placing everything just so in the Calico Critters house (I think I was trying to pretend the other messes weren't there).
Anyway, I heard you like the Calico Critters, so I thought you might like to see how I arranged everything while I was in mess denial that day:


This is the living room, where mom is coming home after her "away time."


Dad is busy in the kitchen!

The rabbit friend is going to wash her hands.

This is the play room. Also, mama dog is going to sit at the vanity and get ready to go out.