scenes from a back yard

Because the weather is gloomy, dark, and rainy again today, I'd like to instead think about last weekend, when we spent some time in our back yard, dressed in shorts.

The Boy got a bike (with training wheels) for his birthday in December, but he has been leery of learning how to pedal it, instead sticking with his trusty Kettler trike.

Over the weekend, he pulled out the "big boy bike" and got very frustrated because the pedals kept stopping. I tried to show him that he was pedaling it the wrong direction, which is how you apply the brakes, and help him move his legs in a circle in the right direction. But he was just yelling at me about how his bike didn't work, and wouldn't listen to mom.

But then Middle Girl tried to show him. And boy, did he listen with rapt attention to her instructions. She was so patient, showing him over and over which way to push the pedals, and giving him a starting push. I was so proud of her! She and I both cheered and hollered when he started to get it by himself!

While enjoying the lovely weather outside and the lovely children working together to help The Boy with his bike-riding, I heard something: "Hey, lady! Yeah, you with the kids. You ever gonna notice me? Sure, I'm old and tired, but I've put in a lot of good years with children.

"Thanks for sewing me back together that one time (sorry I spewed so much dust in your face), but I think things are a lot more serious this time! Get off your duff and HELP ME!!"


Uh, yeah, you have a point.

The Truth about Three

This is a follow-up to my "Ode to Three." If you haven't read it, please go here (or scroll down a few days) and read it first.

Then come back to hear more about it!

_______________


I need to share with you the background of my post "Ode to Three." Picture me at my computer, composing loving thoughts about my children. While writing about the wonder of the first baby, Big Girl was standing next to me throwing a HUGE fit because she couldn't find her silver locket. Tears flying, much yelling, not pretty.

While writing about my two daughters, so devoted to one another, Big Girl was bawling that Middle Girl had "given" her MG's gold locket "to keep forever" and now WANTS IT BACK!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

While waxing poetic about how wonderful it is to have three children, The Boy was putting stickers all over our wooden TV cabinet. Daddy came home and said, "TB, WHAT have you been up to?" Between that and throwing every ball we own over the fence and into the pool FIVE TIMES last weekend, we're sure glad to have our three!


So, now that we've both enjoyed a good laugh about that (and SIL S. gave me a pat on the back for still being able to focus on the positive in my writing during that scene), it's time for the TRUTH about three.


CHAOS.


It takes them less than ten minutes to make a complete mess out of any room in the house. And often, this is happening in two or three rooms simultaneously.

One urges another to remove all of the couch cushions and turn the couch into a trampoline.

One decides to tackle the others and knock them to the ground (over and over) whether they like it or not.

Another decides to wail and moan and play a victim instead of just getting away from the tackling sibling.

You know how kids suddenly do ANYTHING to get your attention when you're on the phone? Now imagine three kids doing it, while also competing with each other over who can be the loudest and most demanding.

You think you've got it made, two kids have agreed on the same thing for lunch! or are in agreeable moods for an errand or the walk to school! But wait, before you thank your lucky stars, there's another kid in the mix, and they are NOT agreeing to the plan.

I'm so used to the chaos at this point that it has become background noise. I don't really hear them anymore! I wish I had a dime for every time I've been talking to someone and they say "Um, I think your son is trying to get your attention," and I suddenly realize he's been wailing at me and pulling on my leg and I hadn't even noticed! So, yeah, the chaos has pushed me over the edge a bit.


When other mothers find out I have three kids, they almost always say, "You have THREE? I don't know HOW you do it." and I just give them the answer my moms have both given me about coping with kids: you just do it.

The thing that seems to give people pause most often is the idea that they would be outnumbered by the kids. With two, each parent can handle one kid, and everyone is covered. Each child is holding a parent's hand, and that lessens the chances of somebody running off. But it's okay - we learn that we all need to take responsibility for our family. There are only two parents, but the kids learn that if we all help watch out for each other and share ownership of our family, we'll all be okay. And I think that's a really great thing to learn. I admit, it's not like they act this way all the time, but I think it's an underlying lesson that slowly is taught just by how the family works. We can't rely on someone else to take care of everything, we have to participate in order for our world to work.

And similarly, we can't control everything and have it be a certain, precise way, we've got to relax a bit and be flexible and creative. Because there are other people around who demand (and deserve) a say as well.

So bring on the chaos. I don't mind it. (Well, sometimes I need a break from it, but that's okay too. We learn that we need a break and we find ourselves a getaway sometimes.)

Yeah, maybe three ain't always so pretty. In fact, I'd say it's messy, but also ... beautiful.

What's happening right now

Middle Girl and The Boy are playing "High School Musical." MG is Sharpay and told TB to be Ryan (Sharpay's brother). The Boy packed up his Cars into his Cars lunchbox, told me "I am Ryan," and headed upstairs to play HSM.

Ode to Three

Nothing on earth can compare to the first baby.

When two people become three.

Two people who love each other and can't wait to share their love with a new person of their very own. Two people looking into each other's eyes and knowing the baby will be as amazing as the person looking back.

Then, holding hands and quietly looking at the baby together and marveling at her beauty. No baby on Earth has ever been this beautiful. Marveling at how lucky the three of them are to have each other.

Watching every little facial expression and every little movement. It's all so profound. This little, perfect person is us. It's like our hearts joined together and made something new, and it's living outside of us and still inside at the same time.

Then walking with a sweet little toddler, one hand in Daddy's big hand, one hand in Mommy's soft one. Both parents smiling down at their treasure and then smiling over at their partner in life.


When baby number two enters the family, things are different this time. Gone are the shared glances over the new baby or the precious toddler, replaced by two parents running after two kids going in opposite directions. Or mom up nursing in the middle of the night while dad is down the hall helping the three-year-old back to sleep. But the parents now have more than they ever imagined. They have the sight of their firstborn gazing quietly at the new baby, their new baby, a person in this world who will stand by them and understand them like no one else could.

They have the discovery of their two little loves, who are somehow each the parent's whole world, walking hand in hand, or sitting nestled together with a book, or having fallen asleep in a hug after one crept into the other's bed.

They have the one-child-one-parent time, which now feels like a vacation, a gift. As any opportunity for your child to reveal more layers of herself to you should be.


But that's not what I'm writing about.


I'm writing about THREE.


Three finally made me feel complete. Like everybody we were waiting for is here with us.

Three is a gift to the children in the family. This time, when the child meets the new baby, she looks over at her sister and shares a knowing look. This baby is our baby. We will all always have each other. It's not just the two of us braving the world now, we are a group. We have our US.

The children always have someone to play with. They always have someone on their side. No matter which part of themself they want to be today, there's someone who can understand them. Even if others can't.

Three is a gift to the parents, too. For one thing, they have the amazing phenomenon that the same two people could produce such different children. And maybe it's actually not about the parents and their hopes and dreams for their new child, but it's about stepping back and letting their children be. Be who they will be. And learning about humanity from them. Loving the differences, the beautiful individualities.

My three little ducks have taught me to give them space.

Space to have a tantrum and figure out how to deal with it on their own because mommy is helping someone else with their diaper. Mommy has learned that they will be fine without every need being met every second. In fact, they may be better off that way.

Space to forge out these sibling relationships in their own way. Because when it comes down to it, they will take care of each other whether I tell them to or not.

Space to be who they are going to be. Because they are more amazing than I ever thought possible, and no matter what their gifts and talents turn out to be, what matters is love and happiness. Which comes from who you are and who you have and how you treat them, not how well you do in school or on the stage or field.

My babies have the knowledge that they have a safe place to fall. A family of five that will love them no matter what. Ten arms make a good net.


*****************

I've been preparing this post in my mind, waiting to write it here until I was allowed to share some good news, and that time has come!

Congratulations R and S! I'm so excited for you! Three is a magic number!

Shopping with our Christmas money

We went to the bookstore and the girls each got some books and then decided to pool the rest of their money to buy the complete set of American Girl DVDs.

We are reading the books one chapter a night at bedtime. Middle Girl likes having some chapter books of her own. We watched the Samantha movie, but it had a "scary" scene in it (Big Girl had read the book so she knew it was coming, and psyched out both herself and her sister) so we'll have to pick the right time to watch the others (not too close to bedtime or when anyone is feeling tired).

The Boy didn't take long to decide on what he wanted. He got a book about basketball at the bookstore. At the toy store, he got a Lightning McQueen race track that Cousin L had gotten (and The Boy had coveted) and a set of Mr. Potato Head and his friends Mr. Corn and Ms. Carrot.

The race track has seen a lot of action. A LOT. If you put more than one car on, they sometimes crash! What could be better?

At first, The Boy was not comfortable with the idea of mixing up their parts (putting Mr. Potato Head's hat on Mr. Corn, for example). In fact, he SCREAMED when the girls wanted to show him what it would look like. Eventually, though, he has gotten used to it and even laughs about putting the arms in the hat hole. Now, that's progress.

at Grandma's

We made it here late last night! It took quite a bit longer than usual, since we hit some snow and The Hubby had to get out in the cold cold cold and put chains on so we could make it over the Pass.
But we're here and we're cozy and having fun.
We had a fantastic Christmas at Noni's. The kids were so happy to be with their cousins, and Santa treated them well. Christmas Eve was a big party, with an appearance by Santa that really surprised the kids (and Santa shocked Big Girl by saying that Mrs. N has been telling Santa about her). I was assigned to video duty for that event, so I hope I managed to squeeze into the right spots and get a good angle. Then back to Noni's for bed (Auntie S read "The Night Before Christmas") and they woke up at about 7:15 the next morning. We convinced Cousin L to go get his parents, but he was ready to start playing with his dinosaur toys! Everybody got what they were hoping for, and the kids stayed in jammies all day (playing with toys and watching new movies), so it was pretty much a perfect day!
As for The Hubby and I, we both got to go to the NFL game (with R and S; Noni was a hero and babysat all 5 kids) and sit in the amazing seats for the Christmas-themed final home game. Then we went to the city late with The Hubby's high school friends and had (literally) too much fun.
On the day after Christmas, we all went to see "Enchanted." It was cute. Everybody made it to the end except Middle Girl (so The Hubby and The Boy had to go to the lobby with her).
The Boy only made it half the first night in the "big kids' bedroom." The rest of the time, he had to sleep next to mommy and daddy's little bed in the loft.

at Noni's

We're here! We got here at 4 or 5 or something. I'm sitting here wondering when the four kids will fall asleep. My three and Cousin L are all in one room. This is The Boy's first time for this. Daddy is lying in there to help him fall asleep (well, maybe THEM) so I don't know if they're asleep or not (often Hubby also falls asleep when he "lies with them."

The kids are very excited to be here together and Niece M is SO ADORABLE!

The big question right now is who is using the NFL tix tomorrow. I cannot handle the idea of being the one with the kids YET AGAIN, 1) I did for the SU-ND game last month, 2) I have done all the Christmas prep for this family and have exhausted myself and I am TOAST! So this won't be an easy one to figure out.

Well, that's it for now, we'll talk more later!

Enjoy your loved ones, we feel fortunate to be together right now!

O Christmas Tree

Things are looking good here. Last week I was very busy (aren't we all this time of year) getting the decorations up, enjoying Big Girl's Christmas performance (she sang her heart out and we could hear her!), and dragging The Boy all over town running errands. Today when we dropped Middle Girl off at school, he said "where are we going now?" and I said "hmmm... Target?" to which he replied, "No! We're just going home!" So he has had it with errands!

Unfortunately our videocamera is not functioning and we have to send it in to see if it can be fixed. The Hubby gave it to me for Christmas last year and bought it 12/17, so it should be under warranty except that we don't have the receipt. Which they are saying is required. We'll see what happens, but having no videocamera for The Boy's birthday and Christmas with the cousins is a total bummer.

The Boy is getting very excited about his birthday! Every day we talk about how many days are left and he can hardly believe it! Tonight the girls and I went to the store and got the birthday gifts they had in mind for him. They can't wait for him to open them! Big Girl says she loves to give presents as well as get.

Yesterday we got our tree! We always play Christmas music as we hang ornaments. The Boy was very involved in the decorating this year, so we were five hard workers! The girls ooh-ed and ah-ed and reminisced as we unpacked the ornaments. This all really feels like a tradition now! But no video of it this year ... gah!

Ornaments are out and ready to go

The Boy's favorite is a train (the first one he put up), which he seems to remember from last year (it's one of Hubby's from his Grandma. Big Girl has a lot of favorites.

I just taught the girls "The Twelve Days of Christmas" and Middle Girl and I found a set of "12 Days" ornaments. She enjoyed hanging them on our tree!

The finished product looks terrific!

here we go again

Big Girl is home from school today with chickenpox. Found the spots yesterday morning. So we are stuck at home for a few days AGAIN.

She actually had both the vaccine and the booster. This breakout of chickenpox is strange -- more vaccinated kids are getting it than the statistics would predict, and I know of a family in which even the child who had already had the disease got it again. It makes me wonder if this is some kind of different strain? I didn't think that happened with chickenpox... My scientific mind wants to solve this puzzle.

The Boy has a couple of red bumps, but it actually doesn't look like it did on the girls yet. We'll see what happens through today.

Halloween day

Off Little Red Riding Hood went to school today! Coming home at noon (half day), her basket was full of treats. I let her share them with her little sister and brother even before they ate lunch. Middle Girl said, "mom, you're spoiling us!"

At school, the Big Bad Wolf was sitting at Little Red's table. (Coincidence.)

There were many characters from Star Wars, including Princess Leia in her pants outfit. There were many characters from Hannah Montana as well. We do not know about these things at our house.

Pippi Longstocking won a prize and so did the Hot Dog. I don't know about his pal Mustard. Wolf won too. I liked Baseball Card and Flamenco Dancer.

Unfortunately I did not get to see the Halloween Parade and so I didn't see many kids from other grades. The Hubby enjoyed the Parade, although it is always hot on the blacktop!

At The Boy's Parent Ed class, we covered cardboard with flannel to make storyboards. We each got a gate (that's why I cut out 18 yesterday), five pumpkins, and five ghosts that volunteer moms had cut out of felt. We learned a couple of Halloween stories and The Boy just loves to carefully place the felt pieces on the board and move them around with the story. He demonstrated for his sisters and I wish I had caught it on video!

"Five Little Pumpkins"

Five little pumpkins, sitting on a gate

The first one said, "it's getting late!"

The second one said, "there are witches in the air!"

The third one said, "but I don't care!"

The fourth one said, "ooooo, let's run!"

The fifth one said, "it's only Halloween fun!"

Then "ooooooo" went the wind, and (clap) out went the light,

And the five little pumpkins rolled out of sight.

"Five Little Ghosts"

Five little ghosts all dressed in white

Were scaring each other on Halloween Night

The first one said, "I'll scare everyone I see"

The second one said, "You can't scare me!"

The third one said, "Let's hide behind a tree"

The fourth one said, "It's time to disappear"

The fifth one said, "See you on Halloween next year!"

Middle Girl had Orange and Black Day at school. We left Parent Ed early to go see the kids sing Halloween songs. Darling! Each child got to pick out a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch room!

MG's friend "Red" had chickenpox too, but was all scabbed over today so she got to come for the festivities. Surprising that this family had mild cases that only took a few days since they do not vaccinate their children.

It's naptime! Rest up for costume-bonanza-trick-or-treating-in-the-new-neighborhood-with-our-friends-hope-Boy-wears-a-costume-how-many-people-will-come-do-we-have-enough-candy?!

Halloween is coming

Middle Girl was back at school today, and in fact was back at Sunday School yesterday for the costume parade. Chickenpox was so much better for her than it was for me way back when! Just a few spots, just a few days, and that's it! Hooray for vaccines. We'll see in about two weeks if Big Girl or The Boy come down with it. Also the neighbor girl, who managed to slip into our house on Friday afternoon. I suddenly realized, "V is upstairs playing with Middle Girl. Do her parents know this? .... Do her parents know Middle Girl has the chickenpox?" Well, the neighbor parents did know she was at our house but did not know about the chickenpox. Oops! Parental faux pas -- I felt like an idiot. "Should I send her back home?" "Probably too late now, don't you think?" said neighbor mom. Time will tell!
Middle Girl had gone out front to swing on the swing while I was just inside in the living room on the phone. Neighbor girl saw Middle Girl outside, ran out to play with her, and next thing you know they're in the house and playing upstairs. Neighbor girl has a talent for this sort of thing!

Big Girl has some Halloween goings-on at school tomorrow: Pumpkin Carving Contest and 2nd Grade Spooky Scenes (aka dioramas). So I was up to my elbows in pumpkin goop this evening. Good thing the diorama was already done. Then on Wednesday Big Girl has the Halloween parade at 11 am and Middle Girl has the Orange-and-Black-Day singalong at ... 11 am. I have called in backup (The Hubby will come over from work to be in one place while I am in the other).

A couple weekends ago, we chose our pumpkins. Tonight we scooped out the goop. Each child reacted differently to this job. Let's analyze (this could be fun):

Middle Girl got right in there, and worked hard, enjoyed the squishy goopiness, and was the first to get it cleaned out.

The Boy was very serious about his job. He used his little scooper to take the seeds out but needed mommy's help with the scraping. He worked quietly.

Big Girl got a little dot of goop on her cheek. She went in the house to get a paper towel for herself.

Shocking.

She did not work quietly, but made sure we all knew her opinions of this job. "Eeew! Gross!" "Mom, can you scoop mine out?" (Mom: "put your hands in there and pull out the goop.") "I don't want to! It makes my hands messy!"

they're close

The Boy told me that Thomas and James (the trains) are friends.

I said, "who are The Boy's friends?"

He said, "Middle Girl!"


I don't know if I should think of that as good or bad...

Boy Humor

The Boy is very interested in traffic lights these days. "Red means stop, green means go." There is a little song to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and when out, he is always telling us "that light is red, that means stop."

This morning, walking home from Big Girl's school, he said, "The red light is on the top. The yellow light is in the middle. The green light is on the bottom." "Yes, honey," I said. Then he said, "Ha ha ha, the DIAPER is on the bottom!! Ha ha ha ha!"

I guess that begins the boy humor.

goofballs all around

I am surrounded by goofballs. Being one myself, I guess it is unavoidable! And I like goofballs, anyway. Look at this one:



Coming into his own with moments of ham-itude.

I grabbed the camera when I saw a box walking through the house. By the time I took the picture, the box had slipped back, but when he was walking around he was pretty much totally covered except for two little legs. Usually, he is a quiet ham. But sometimes, he is a really noisy one. He reminds me of Big Girl more and more every day.

12-Sept-07

I am so tired today! All of a sudden summer ended and the school year started up and my calendar exploded. I am never home at night right now and Big Girl is giving me what-for about it. I am sure the others feel similarly (BG is the one who lets me have it about everything - is it BG or is it age 7?). I've been teaching Safeguard the Children classes for our church, as well as rehearsing for all of the various gigs coming up in the next month. I've been saying that singing in a band is a good substitute for doing musicals because it gives me a chance to sing but I'm not taken away from the family as much. I guess that is negated when you are singing with 4 or 5 different groups! Also, Hubby and I went on a couple of dates while my mom was here so when you add it all up, I am out every night. This Friday I should be able to stay home.

We had a special outing last Sunday. My mom took all of us to see "Hairspray." It was the first time the five of us have been to the movies together, and it was only Big Girl's 3rd (or so) movie in a theater. Hubby and I (and my Mom) had already seen it, and Hubs bought the soundtrack and the girls have been listening to it obsessively. We surprised them by taking them to see it! They were so excited. Middle Girl sang along with the opening number, it was so cute. Big Girl sat there the whole time with her wide eyes taking it all in. The Boy enjoyed it too, as he's been listening to the songs with the girls, although he did have to walk up and down our row for part of the time. Even though there were a few times when I was thinking "oh, boy, I hope that lyric went over their heads," it was a fun time. Afterwards, Big Girl was still floating on air that she actually got to see the movie in the theater. The next morning, she said "I still can't believe it! I was dreaming that I would see Hairspray in the movie theater but I thought I would have to wait for the DVD! But my dream came true!"